Snooping Crimes

Posted by Anthony North on June 16, 2013

Polly Ticks says … If NSA or GCHQ are checking me, it’s simple. I’ve served, & am totally patriotic to, my country. Can any govt say the same?
My Politics page

Major de Ranger says … Drones may be illegal? Contravene international law? No such thing – just convention. To speak of illegality is red herring.
My Warfare page

Dr Illya Ness says … Pregnant moms no toiletries or processed food? To ease anxiety I recommend no more stupid advice from clueless ‘experts’.
My Illness page

You’ve read them. Now Meet the Team

THE CRIME POST
My Writing Tips

UNBEATEN: As the murder took place
he couldn’t help but see the funny side.
After all, as his life ebbed away he
wanted to meet the next with a smile.
***
To live on the edge
An exciting way to be?
To repeat the Fall
***
THE BLADE: Time to be leaner; cut away
the surplus. She thought it gave her
confidence as she hid behind her mask,
and the doctor forgot Hippocrates.

The Devil did it
They say evil directs us
Cop-out of the knave

MICROPEDIE IN 55 WORDS
War – conflict where people are made to kill to live. Caused by less than 1% of a population – and experienced by the rest.
Wage – monetary reward for work. As task decreases in usefulness, the amount of wage increases.
Wall – artificial barrier, usually of brick, but also fear. We construct to hide what we don’t want people to know.


Blogger Bard says:

WRINKLE: The hair follicles on the brow
panicked with the first wrinkle. ‘That’s
it. Facequakes all the time now; & we’re
already wiped out on top.’
***
ULTIMATUM: Near death, he never
thought of the tunnel as an escalator to a
departure lounge. Tech gets everywhere;
& the ultimatum: reboot or log out.
***
FLOATY: The diet worked so well she
was as light as air as she floated above
her man. But she needed to cut down on
roughage to stay down to earth.

I, CRIME WRITER
by Anthony North
Free eBook
Flash Fiction in crime genre
Download FREE to most apps & devices
If you like, tell your friends

Succinctly Yours, One Single Impression, Magpie Tales, Poetry Pantry, ABC Wednesday, dVerse, Haiku My Heart, Friday Flash 55, Thursday 13

92 Comments

  1. Suzy said on June 16, 2013

    Facequakes made me chuckle – created quite a crazy picture in my head. And the ultimatum was very cleverly done. Blogger Bard shines again!
    Dropping by from OSI

  2. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Suzy, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  3. brian miller said on June 16, 2013

    can any government say the same…great question…so true in blaming the devil as well to alleviate the blame…

  4. nan said on June 16, 2013

    Clever, clever!

  5. Kodjo Deynoo said on June 16, 2013

    You always just know how to give it…lol

  6. Talon said on June 16, 2013

    “War” really struck a chord. So much truth here, Anthony. As always, a pure pleasure to peruse (yeah, I’m purposely alliterating!) :)

  7. dsnake1 said on June 16, 2013

    great read as usual, Anthony!

    The Blade : cosmetic surgery has its uses but most go in for the vanity. :(

  8. Grace said on June 16, 2013

    The blogger bard is so funny ~ Reboot,I say ~

    Happy weekend ~

  9. Sherry Blue Sky said on June 16, 2013

    Anthony, you are so witty – and so right on about the definition for wages! Made me smile and your facequakes are hilarious. Dont get me started on Thyroid Neck. Suffice it to say: it aint pretty!

  10. WabiSabi said on June 16, 2013

    Thanks for the laugh out loud ‘wrinkle’!! Loved it. I’ll remember ‘facequakes’ for a long time!My Head is Beating with Wishes

  11. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Brian, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Nan, thank you. glad you liked it.

    Hi Kodjo, many thanks. Very kind.

    Hi Talon, alliterate away. Many thanks for that :-)

  12. laurie kolp said on June 16, 2013

    Cut down on roughage made me smile.

  13. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi dsnake1, yes, very true.

    Hi Grace, thank you. Reboot, certainly.

    Hi Sherry Blue Sky, thanks for that. Yes, my facequakes are beginning now.

  14. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Laurie, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  15. Tess Kincaid said on June 16, 2013

    I’ll have what she’s having…

  16. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Tess, I’ll have to work out a recipe ;-)

  17. Helen said on June 16, 2013

    ‘ULTIMATUM’ and ‘FLOATY’ … both float my boat!!

  18. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Wabi Sabi, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Helen, many thanks. glad you liked them.

  19. Sam Edge said on June 16, 2013

    funny – great way to start my day!

  20. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Sam, thanks for that, and welcome here.

  21. Kathe W. said on June 16, 2013

    down to earth! Good one! Have a great week.

  22. Pat said on June 16, 2013

    Hmmm…An escalator to heaven? The escalators in the SY photo seem to be going downward. Interesting take on this week’s SY photo and WOTW.

  23. Jim said on June 16, 2013

    :) Hi Anthony. ~~ I think Tech have the odds for the success of each choice, rebooting or logging out?

    (Did you know that I worked at NASA Houston, Flight Control, for 14 years?–Beside knowing the odds, we also used cost/benefit analysis for decision making.)
    ..

  24. Judy Sheldon-Walker said on June 16, 2013

    Reboot or log out – I have been doing a lot of that lately, computer issues.

  25. LadyInRead said on June 16, 2013

    enjoyed them all but I think Unbeaten kind of caught my eye..

  26. viv blake said on June 16, 2013

    I chuckled at the facequakes. I’ve rather gone off mirrors, the older I get.

  27. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Kathe, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Pat, many thanks for that.

    Hi Jim, that would have been an interesting job.

  28. Anthony North said on June 16, 2013

    Hi Judy, yes, computers aren’t made for non-techies, are they?

    Hi LadyInRead, many thanks. Glad you liked it.

    Hi Viv, I’m getting to dislike them, too.

  29. Leslie said on June 18, 2013

    If only people would drop all those walls and kill war! If only people could accept differences and live in peace. We continue to repeat “the Fall.”

    Leslie
    abcw team

  30. Reader Wil said on June 18, 2013

    Great post as usual! I like especially like the. Micropedie in 55 words. Wars are useless and don’t solve problems at all.
    Wil, ABCW Team.

  31. Roger Green said on June 18, 2013

    Too many govts are loyal to the mighty lira, yen, buck or pound.

  32. Anthony North said on June 18, 2013

    Hi Leslie, yes, sadly we do.

    Hi Reader Wil, yes, it all comes down to politics. The fighting occurs so we can avoid the time when compromise has to come.

    Hi Roger, yes, this is the problem.

  33. Claudia said on June 18, 2013

    smiles…wrinkles can be a challenge for a woman you know…facequakes..ha..i like

  34. Anthony North said on June 18, 2013

    Hi Claudia, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  35. brian miller said on June 18, 2013

    i hope when my time comes i can meet the next with a smile regardless, like that man….

    and hey nice spotlight on you yesterday…smiles.

  36. Anthony North said on June 18, 2013

    Hi Brian, yes, it would be nice, wouldn’t it?

  37. Todd Kraft said on June 18, 2013

    live on the edge, re-enact the Fall. Nice.

  38. Robyn said on June 18, 2013

    The Floaty diet could be the next craze!

  39. Pamelasayers said on June 18, 2013

    Facequakes made me laugh out loud, thanks for that Anthony. And the diet was a hoot. Nice as always.

    Pamela

  40. Poet Laundry said on June 18, 2013

    “The devil did it”…yes, go ahead and avoid responsibility and blame the ol’ devil. Well said.

  41. ayala said on June 18, 2013

    Clever and good post!

  42. Margaret said on June 18, 2013

    A diet keeps one “light on their toes”? Fun.

  43. Karen S. said on June 18, 2013

    Drones have been very bad lately! Even filming them by making errors in some of our weekly shows! :) Great bits of wisdom and humor again!

  44. Anthony North said on June 18, 2013

    Hi Todd, many thanks for that.

    Hi Robyn, you never know :-)

    Hi Pamela, thank you. glad you liked it.

    Hi Poet Laundry, many thanks. Yes, he’s a cop out.

  45. Anthony North said on June 18, 2013

    Hi Ayala, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Margaret, it does indeed.

    Hi Karen, ah, those drones. Thanks for that.

  46. kaykuala said on June 19, 2013

    WRINKLES: It was a shock when it happened the first time. A caddy at the golf club called me uncle instead of brother which they normally did!

    Hank

  47. Anthony North said on June 19, 2013

    Hi Hank, now that is most under par ;-)

  48. L said on June 19, 2013

    As always, clever to the nth degree.

  49. Anthony North said on June 19, 2013

    Hi L, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  50. kelvin s.m. said on June 19, 2013

    …i liked the blogger bard series a lot… aww… you are quite sp generous to offer us so many of these stuffs every week… & our pleasure to read… smiles…

  51. Anthony North said on June 19, 2013

    Hi Kelvin, many thanks for those kind words.

  52. Alice Audrey said on June 19, 2013

    They want pregnant women to stink?
    As if they weren’t tired enough already, nothing pre-made? Yeaaaaaah.

  53. Anthony North said on June 19, 2013

    Hi Alice, yes, total madness.

  54. Shelley Munro said on June 20, 2013

    I really liked your micropedie stories. I admire the way you do these. I’m too wordy!

  55. Anthony North said on June 20, 2013

    Hi Shelley, many thanks for that. It could be that I’m too lazy ;-)

  56. Tony said on June 20, 2013

    Floaty – that’s comedy gold there!

  57. Anthony North said on June 20, 2013

    Hi Tony, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  58. Heather L said on June 20, 2013

    What’s amazing is the fact that so many people, particularly the media, were shocked by the NSA news. Interesting and related story yesterday on NPR.

  59. CountryDew said on June 20, 2013

    Weighty stuff there. Always a pleasure to read.

  60. Mia Celeste said on June 20, 2013

    I like the idea of meeting death and the next life with a smile.

    http://www.miaceleste.com/?p=393

  61. Anthony North said on June 20, 2013

    Hi Heather, yes, as if they wouldn’t.

    Hi Country Dew, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Mia Celeste, yes, as I see it, you’ve nothing to lose.

  62. ladynimue said on June 20, 2013

    Loved the ultimatum :)

    War lines were so right on target !

  63. Anthony North said on June 20, 2013

    Hi Nimue, many thanks for that. Glad you liked it.

  64. Hazel said on June 20, 2013

    Because why are they called experts?…

  65. Anthony North said on June 20, 2013

    Hi Hazel, why indeed. I often wonder.

  66. GILLENA COX said on June 21, 2013

    have a nice Friday Anthony

    much love…

  67. brian miller said on June 21, 2013

    haha roughage is for propulsion when you are lighter than air…lol…

  68. WabiSabi said on June 21, 2013

    Hi Anthony! Back for a second visit and ‘facequakes’ is still hilarious!Haiku My Heart – Filled with Song

  69. G-Man said on June 21, 2013

    Your take on War, Wage, and Wall was perfection Tony.
    You could rewrite any Thesaurus.
    Loved all your prompt offerings
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week End

  70. Talon said on June 21, 2013

    “Floaty” had me laughing out loud, Anthony. Unfortunately, it also rang with so much truth. Why is it considered so attractive to look like a skeleton? I’ll never get it.

  71. Anthony North said on June 21, 2013

    Hi Gillena, thanks for that. You, too.

    Hi Brian, yes, they ought to feed it to airlines. Is methane less hazardous, I wonder?

    Hi Wabi Sabi, many thanks – and it’s always good to see you again.

    Hi G-Man, thank you. Very kind.

    Hi Talon, many thanks for that. It makes no sense to me, either.

  72. priti.lisa said on June 21, 2013

    Floaty :D
    And the Micropedie…
    I live for that stuff!
    ♥♥

  73. Anthony North said on June 21, 2013

    Hi priti.lisa, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  74. Reading Pleasure said on June 21, 2013

    Good to see you again, Anthony :-) enjoyed your haiku

  75. Anthony North said on June 21, 2013

    Hi Reading Pleasure, thanks for that. Good to see you, too.

  76. magicalmysticalteacher said on June 21, 2013

    Repeating the Fall may not be the way to go!

    One Breathless Moment

  77. hedgewitch said on June 21, 2013

    Your almanac of observations is as witty and wise as always–my favorite this time was “the Blade’ section. Bonus points for using ‘knave’ in a sentence, as well. ;_)

  78. Alice Audrey said on June 21, 2013

    Nice twist to Unbeaten.

  79. Helen said on June 21, 2013

    MICROPEDIE IN 55 WORDS ~~ words of wisdom.

  80. Anthony North said on June 21, 2013

    Hi Magical Mystical Teacher, very true.

    Hi Hedgewitch, thank you for the kind words.

    Hi Alice, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Helen, many thanks. glad you liked them.

  81. Hazel said on June 22, 2013

    See you in the next life. Some optimism.

  82. Marit said on June 22, 2013

    Living on the edge is not as exciting as it sounds… but I love your optimistic zine today! Enjoy the weekend Antony – and the Summer. Hope it gets sunny soon!

  83. Anthony North said on June 22, 2013

    Hi Hazel, could be.

    Hi Marit, thanks for that. We’ve just had a couple of fine days, so I didn’t blink, or I’d have missed it.

  84. Grandma`s Goulash said on June 22, 2013

    Loved your reboot or log out ultimatum. I nearly logged out a few years ago myself, but thankfully rebooted. :D

  85. Anthony North said on June 22, 2013

    Hi Grandma, thanks for that. Always best to reboot.

  86. rebecca said on June 22, 2013

    thanks anthony for your humor and wit and joining in so loyally at haiku my heart. you make fridays so fun!

  87. Other Mary said on June 22, 2013

    What wise and clever 55 definitions!

  88. Anthony North said on June 23, 2013

    Hi Rebecca, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    Hi Other Mary, thank you. Very kind.

  89. Susie Clevenger said on June 24, 2013

    I love Blogger Bard. He always makes me giggle!

  90. Anthony North said on June 25, 2013

    Hi Susie, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

  91. Other Mary said on June 28, 2013

    I especially like the Frankenstein as a cosmetic surgery poster boy! Very clever Anthony!

  92. Anthony North said on June 28, 2013

    Hi Other Mary, thanks for that. Much appreciated.

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